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Shampoo Wins Everytime
By adam.cozens | February 25, 2010
I cut my hair a few days ago, as I often do. I know it seems like a dumb thing to whine about, but I feel like I have a problem with my post-haircut brain. Because I have the ability to remember ridiculous baseball stats from the mid-90’s and can call up quickly the phone numbers of my best friends from elementary school, but for years and years now I can’t seem to get it through my thick skull that when I buzz my hair, I do NOT need to take much shampoo as I did before.
It should come easy. After all, that was the whole reason I got in the shower in the first place, wasn’t it? To rinse away the scraps from my hair cut. But 100% of the time, the second I step in to the basin and begin getting all rinsed up, I suddenly become this zombie-eyed creature of habit and take the same big glob of shampoo in my hand as I did the day before and end up looking like the winner of a Nickelodeon Kid’s Choice Award.
Pert Plus: another thing that Han Solo and I have in common
I can’t figure it out. I’m a seemingly smart guy. I have written things that people have enjoyed and I like to think I have an above-average control over my body and what I allow myself to do with it, but the simple act of my brain telling my hang to not squeeze the Head & Shoulders bottle so hard seems to defeat me time and time again.
It’s more than embarrassing, its really astonishing. I don’t know why I can recall picture-perfectly my 8th Halloween where in one single evening I first tried Butterfinger candy bars, ate too many Butterfinger candy bars and grew forever disgusted Butterfinger candy bars, yet I can’t put a mental bookmark in to say “HEY ADAM! If you wash your hair after you cut it, you don’t need as much shampoo or else you are going to look like the girl sitting in the tree in Jurassic Park when the brachiosaurus sneezed in her face.”
Mindy Stergood escaped Perfection to find a much worse fate in the jungle
So I think I have stretched this one-line complaint about as far as it can possibly be stretched.
Topics: Bloggin' |
March 6th, 2010 at 1:26 pm
Yeah, you stretched but you stretched it good.